Lockdown Tips #5

**You don’t need to be lonely!**

This week I’d like to introduce you to my cousin Efrem.

Efrem is in his ’50s, an MA Honours graduate in English, Literature and Anthropology. He has taught in high schools and coaching colleges in Sydney for over 20 years. Observing psychological aspects of education has helped him to better understand people and address their needs. His professional career and lengthy volunteering experience have given him the necessary empathy to positively impact people’s lives. Efrem now works for a major Sydney charity, helping people with chronic illnesses.

We both share the same interest in people; we love to know how they tick. We have talked over this for hours at his favourite Surry Hills café in Sydney – with our extra large cappuccinos, cheese toasties and a jug of water … pre-lockdown of course. I have yet to meet someone with such an infinite understanding of human nature, rich knowledge of history, literature, philosophy and religion. I don’t need reference books or Google, I just call Efrem!

So I’ve asked him to talk about loneliness (so prevalent at this time), explain its causes and what we can do to avoid pitfalls of depression, anxiety and hopelessness which can result.

Efrem – over to you.

Efrem discusses ‘Loneliness’ in the first of his talks on Shirl’s Pearls

**As Efrem says, ‘loneliness’ is defined by psychologists as “feeling lonely more than once a week”**

**The 3 forms of loneliness – existential, emotional & social, can hugely undermine our health**

Closing words from Shirl

Many years ago I attended a seminar where the speaker talked about affirmations. We had A4 sheets and a pencil on our chairs, and were told to write what we wanted to “be”, “have” and “become”. I was in my late 30s then, extremely shy and lacking in confidence. But I knew exactly what to write. At the top of my list was “I want to have many friends, and be a public speaker.” I still have that list today, 40 years on.

We were told “nothing changes if nothing changes … take action!” So I did. I read books on personal development, joined a business network, visualised and verbalised the list everyday on my morning walks. And you know what? Eighty percent of my affirmations have come true!

Today we have so much more expert support. We CAN overcome loneliness. Efrem has helped us understand what it’s all about. If this sounds like you, please reach out to professionals and friends who can help. Use the tools. Be consistent with your action plan, and rewards will come sooner than you think.