For many Australians, the days leading up to the Christmas holidays became a period of mourning for those shot and killed at Bondi Beach on 14 December, 2025. Two of my ex-work colleagues were there celebrating the start of Hanukkah, the Jewish festival of lights. One lost her husband, and another had a bullet scrape past her head. Who could believe this could happen in peace-loving, relaxed Australia?

I remembered when Singapore had racial riots between Chinese and Malay communities in 1964 and 1969 – where we heard gunshots and people yelling and screaming. I wasn’t fully aware of what was going on then, but my family was terrified. For them it was like reliving the Japanese occupation during the Second World War.

To end the riots, the Singapore government was pressured to appease demands of these communities, and endorse the primacy of one over the other. But they chose not to: adamant that for Singapore to be multi-racial, everyone should be equal. And in 1997, the government established ‘Racial Harmony Day’. It’s observed annually on 21 July to remember the 1964 riots and reinforce the importance of maintaining social cohesion. 

Today, Singapore is a blended city of true Singaporeans – where Indians, Chinese, and Malays live in the same housing complexes, go to the same schools, share tables at food centres, gather in parks for their early morning exercise to sit and talk, or to go for a ‘makan’ (meal) at their favourite food stalls. Their language and dialogue is often dotted with ‘Singlish’ – a quirky blend of English, Chinese, Malay and Tamil (which I use often!).

We had strong human connections in Singapore. Strangers would easily become friends, and my Granny Azizah was especially good at amassing them! We felt safe in a community that was close and cared for each other.

In his article My parents’ secret to longevity? Caring for friends and strangers, Bioethicist Ezekiel J Emanuel writes:

‘Social relationships, both the deep ones and the fleeting exchanges, reduce stress hormones, lower blood pressure, reduce inflammation, strengthen immune function and make you happier. They may even slow cellular aging.’

Emanuel cites a study by Harvard University’s Study of Adult Development which followed people for over 80 years to find that:

‘ “[T]he people who were happiest, stayed healthiest as they grew old, and who lived the longest were the people who had the warmest connections with other people.” By contrast, social isolation is as dangerous to longevity and cognitive decline as being obese.’

Now that was music to my ears!

A relevant article in The Sydney Morning Herald introduces the ‘social biome’ idea. Much like keeping gut microbiome healthy, strong human connections maintain your social biome. The writer features the book The Social Biome by Profs Andy Merolla and Jeffrey Hall, which explores how we can feed our social lives by constant interactions with others in various ways. Their ‘ladder of communication’ concept places direct human-to-human contact at the top of the list.

Also in the article, psychologist Michelle Lim says that if we get used to not talking, then talking to people becomes a chore: ‘But it only becomes a chore because we don’t practice.’ 

So start with SMILING: even if only one in 10 smile back. A smile often leads to a conversation. If you see someone with a stunning outfit or hairstyle, tell them how nice they look … they’ll love that! When a salesperson gives you good service, a few words of praise and a thank you will make their day. And if someone’s looking lost, simply ask: ‘Can I help you?’ 

Now back to Singapore. It is one of the friendliest places I’ve ever known. I recently met a lady there named ‘Angie’ while on the train. We talked all the way from Clementi to Bencoolen stations, which culminated in Angie’s fabulous durian treat-feast. No surprises that we definitely need PEOPLE to nourish our social biomes. If you love the coffee your barista so artfully crafts for you, TELL them!

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